Jennifer's Thursday Evening Group
Short free-write
FALL
Autumn light angles amber through the blinds,
striping rumpled sheets,
warming floor for dozing cat blinking, stretching,
dust drifting like snow.
Autumn light on entangled limbs,
dozing,
quiet breathing,
sounds of passing cars and mowing lawns,
goldfinch busy in the turning leaves.
Afternoon light the color of change,
the great wheel turning
garden fading, resting the eye,
your hand in mine, heart beneath my ear,
summer winding down like an old clock.
By Amy Holmes Hehn
I love the use of the present participle to show everything in simultaneous motion. As always, your use of proximity between people, the physical connection, creates an intimacy and deeper meaning. A narrator who always knows exactly where he/she is in physical space, and especially in connection with another. My favorite words: rumpled, entangled, goldfinch. Phrase: light the color of change. Amazing!
ReplyDeleteThank you George! I was nervous about posting (hard not to think, "I could have done this or that better"), so it's nice to get such a nice comment from you! I always enjoy your work! Amy
ReplyDeleteAutumn light angling amber through blinds...striping sheets. Fabulous verbs. Also loved summer winding down like an old clock.
ReplyDeletelove the heart beneath my ear image! I can totally imagine love in an autumn afternoon.
ReplyDelete